Why Wonder Woman is a Great Role Model

I’ve always loved Wonder Woman, so I was over the moon when my eldest asked to see the latest film as part of his birthday celebrations.

I wasn’t disappointed.

Wonder Woman is someone who knows her talents and gifts and follows her own heart.

This is something I believe children are talked out of from an early age. Us parents need them to be able to act and behave in a certain way to help us deal with daily life and set a routine. Any tantrum, outburst and refusal to go to sleep when we want them to is quickly dealt with.

This ends up with children who don’t listen to their own body which can tell them when they’re tired, hungry or how it’s feeling. They place their self worth in the hands of others. They feel loved only when given external feedback and find it hard to see love for themselves.

Some schools can be rigid, thanks to the outdated education system.

Some kids feel like it’s a prison, because children are taught to be quiet, sit still and get a sense from an early age that they’re ‘not good’ at certain topics. They’re not given the chance to be creative, find their own special gifts and celebrate their uniqueness.

The kids I coach all feel like they’re not good enough.

They can list everything they do wrong, every negative comment that’s ever been said to them and every subject they struggle with. If a teacher or parent tells them they’re not good at a subject, they use this as evidence for life. I’ve had teenagers facing maths GCSEs telling me that they’re going to fail because a primary school teacher told them they’re not good at maths.

Students compare themselves to others based on grades and looks and always end up feeling inadequate, because so and so is more intelligent or prettier. They’re blind to their own skills and talents. They go on a diet as young as 7 because they’ve been told they’re too fat.

Wonder Woman faces fear and does what she can to put things right, by choosing love.

So many people hold themselves back and don’t go for their dreams due to fear of failure, or fear of success.

We doubt our own strength and live behind the shadows of fear, too scared to stand up for what we believe in. Too scared to love ourselves.

The kids I work with are scared of the future, scared they’ll fail their exams, scared they’ll make a mess of their life – and they’re scared no-one really loves them.

They’ve picked up on the fears and self doubt us adults have.

So, how can we all be like Wonder Woman?

Here are 5 tips to try:

  • Own your power. Jot down the reasons it’s good to be you. Be honest. Everyone has unique gifts and talents, so what are yours?
  • Find out what makes you happy. Do you really know? Are you just plodding through life following your routine without questioning why you’re doing what you’re doing? I have a list of 100 things that make me happy and I aim to do three of them every day.
  • Be creative. Creative activities open up your mind and help you see solutions instead of problems. They help you relax and stop those negative mind monkeys that can tell you you’re not good enough.
  • Face your fear. What if you knew that you couldn’t fail at something? Would you go for it? If so, then go for it anyway. What’s your definition of failure? If it’s crippling you from taking action and living the life you deserve, think of ‘failure’ as feedback and keep on going for your dreams.
  • Choose love. In any situation, choose to see the best in it. There is a balance of light and dark, love and fear in this world. Whatever you choose to see, that’s what you get more of. Be kinder to yourself and others, forgive yourself and trust that you’re doing well. Every day think of those who you love and who love you in return.

I left watching Wonder Woman feeling empowered.

Knowing that we all have our own unique power that is ready and waiting for us to use. Wonder Woman faced a battle, to end all wars.

We face a battle – to end the war inside of us and choose to know that we are each wonderful in our own unique way.

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How to Love

In the run up to Valentine’s Day the shops go crazy, trying to sell you items that will make you or your loved one feel loved.

I remember, as a teenager that my Maths teacher told us he refused to buy his wife a card on Valentine’s Day. We were shocked. He said that he didn’t want to be told when to love his wife because he loved her all the time. He wanted to show her this love when it was right for him.

As I look at my kids I want to show them each day how much I love them.

I want to show my husband how much I love him. But, as a coach I’ve realised that it’s not my job to make them feel loved. That’s their job.

Yes, I can help them feel loved and of course I want to do that, but the only way they can actually feel loved is to start with loving themselves.

My 7 year old son has been going through a tough time again. Every day he tells us that he doesn’t deserve to be loved, or happy, or have friends.

Every day I tell him that we love him, but it’s falling on deaf ears.

The spiritual teacher Abraham Hicks often states that ‘words don’t teach’. Action does.

So, I give my kids cuddles every day. I smile at them, I make eye contact as often as I can. I do what I can to show them that they are indeed loved.

But kids learn from observation. Adults are their role models.

How many parents out there truly love who they are?

Can you look in the mirror and love who you see? Or are you focused on the bits you want to change?

So, if you want to show your loved ones how much you love them you have to start by loving yourself.

If you want a better relationship with your partner, you have to love yourself. If you want to attract an ideal partner you have to love yourself.

Think about it.

When I was a teenager I had a series of rubbish relationships. Cheated on, I became jealous, paranoid and felt unworthy of love. I didn’t like who I was, so I was getting the men in my life to reinforce that belief.

In my 20s I decided that I’d had enough and I focused on finding out more about me. What was I good at? How could I enjoy life? Were there things I liked about myself?

Once I could answer these questions I met my soulmate.

Our relationship is a good one. It’s not like the ending of a Disney movie, it’s better. I don’t need to be swept off my feet because I can do it myself. Any time I feel like I’m not getting the love or attention I want, I know it’s down to me. I take time out to remember what I’m good at and to appreciate who I am.

I used to think that this behaviour was selfish, arrogant or big-headed.

It’s like putting your oxygen mask on first, so that you can then help others.

So, if you need some love this Valentine’s Day I’d encourage you to chill out and focus on you. Remind yourself what makes you happy and do it. Look at what’s good about being you and celebrate it. Appreciate who you’ve become and accept your uniqueness.

Only then can you get the love that you deserve.

Jaelithe

xxx

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What men can teach you about happiness

Happiness tips from the opposite sex

Please don’t lynch me for choosing to include a chapter on men for my book ‘The Happy Woman: What You Can Learn from Kids, Dogs and Men.’

And I do want to make it clear that my research or my own personal observations are the focus of the chapter. I don’t want to come across as making horrible stereotypes.

We’re all different in our own unique way. 

It's good to be you.

But, there are generalisations that fit men.

On the whole women have a higher risk factor of being depressed. It’s women who are most likely to suffer from seasonal affective disorder. 

Despite efforts across the globe to give women equality, we’re still not on a par with men when it comes to earning top salaries or holding top positions.

So, I was fascinated by this and wanted to dig deeper.

And I loved what I found out.

Therefore, I’ve created a short animation sharing my favourite lessons and happiness tips from men.

I hope you like it and if you do please share it with your friends.

Oh and don’t forget, you can get your FREE chapter of  ‘The Happy Woman: What You Can Learn from Kids, Dogs and Men.’

And if you do go ahead and buy the book – I want to make it clear that I know many men who love to clean the house! 

Jaelithe

xxx

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Tackling anxiety in kids

My rant

There’s lots of articles appearing about kids suffering from anxiety.

Some people don’t believe it even exists. Others blame the parents because kids are told they’re great, aren’t taught to compete and then fail, thinking they’re rubbish. Let me set the record straight from my point of view.

Kids do get anxiety.

I’m coaching kids at 8 years old who are anxious. I know kids younger who suffer from it.

I don’t believe that the reason they are anxious is because they’re spoilt/praised too much. There is psychological research to show that if you praise a child’s result – such as an exam result, a painting they’ve done, or something they’ve made then they can rely on more praise to feel good about themselves. Whenever they don’t get that praise they’ll then feel low.

So, if you’re going to praise a child then praise the effort, because that’s what society is built on – trying, failing and trying again.

That way they’ll feel good about themselves for trying.

However if we lived in a world where kids were taught to compete and compare and weren’t given praise then that would make things ten times worse!!

The reason kids are anxious is because they’re already comparing themselves to others. They don’t feel like they’re good enough. We’re all focused too much on achieving and comparing. That’s why kids are anxious. They’re taught that they’re not good enough if they get a ‘B’ in Maths, if their best friend gets an ‘A’. OMG!!

What about the things they are good at?

We DO need to build our kids up, but we need to teach them that ‘failing’ is part of life and makes us stronger.

We need to let them fail LOTS in school. That way the anxiety around their ‘worth’ as a person can be tackled.

Rant over.

If you’ve got a child, or you’re a teenager suffering from anxiety or low self esteem then my fun books can help you.

So far, I’ve got the one for teenagers sorted and am now working on a one for kids.

I care about this SO much. 

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Feeling like a failure

‘I don’t believe it’ (Luke)

‘That is why you fail’ (Yoda)

Failure gets a rough ride. You’re scared to fail because there are so many negative connotations attached to it.

I used to feel like a failure LOTS, until I realised that there is really no such thing as failure.

If you’ve ever seen a baby learn to walk, at first they’ll fall on their bum more than they can walk. Yet we don’t tell them they’re failures, because we know they’re going to walk in their own time. With each step they’re learning.

And that’s what you’re doing. Every moment of every day you’re growing as a person, evolving and learning.

The things you think of as failures are lessons and probably the most important ones.

When I look back to my time as a teenager I realise the things I thought of as failures – the failed relationships, the failed subjects – they all taught me what I wanted in life, what I didn’t want and that I had the strength within me to go for my dreams.

You can do it!

As a mum, I’ve often felt like I’m failing my kids. But at these times, I’ve learned that I can’t control their happiness or them – we are each individuals, in charge of ourselves.

There’s a cheesy saying ‘there’s no such thing as failure, only feedback’ and that’s what I want you to look at your so-called failures as. Feedback. For you to learn from and to grow from.

So, if you’re putting pressure on yourself not to fail, then please don’t. Yes, I know that exam results are important. But they’re not a measure of your worth as a person. Everyone fails. Yet, everyone is special and talented in their own unique way. That’s what makes life so great.

Jaelithe

xxx

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Believe in yourself this Christmas

That’s it!

When you believe in yourself life is great!

Therefore, looking back at the time I’ve had since being a teenage girl to now – the times when things went ‘bad’ were the times I doubted myself and didn’t think I was good enough. As a result, I didn’t believe in myself and I was miserable.

And I have a feeling you’re the same.

You’re scared of failing, scared of letting others down and of not being good enough.

Please stop!

Because you’re amazing just as you are.

So, I’d like to share 3 simple things to do to start believing in yourself:

  • Start a success journal. Write in it each day, making a note of everything you’ve done well that day. It can be big, or small. This acts as a daily reminder to help you realise you’re fab.
  • Look in the mirror and say in your head (or out loud if you’re brave enough) ‘It’s good to be me.’ Repeat every day! This helps you focus on the best bits about you.
  • Do things each day that make you happy. Whether you like singing, dancing, drawing, chatting with your friends, chilling out in front of Netflix – just do it! When you feel happy you feel good from the inside out and you don’t doubt yourself.

Since these are all something you can do NOW – which one will you try first?

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Why I love Wonder Woman

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How Wonder Woman can help you

Today would’ve been Wonder Woman’s 75th birthday. She’s being made the UN Ambassador for girls’ empowerment.

I think that’s great.

I’ve loved Wonder Woman ever since I was a little girl. As an adult I have Wonder Woman shoes, skirts and knickers. I wear my shoes whenever I need a power boost. Yes really!

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The reason I think it’s good Wonder Woman is the UN Ambassador for girls’ empowerment is because she shows you how to have confidence and self belief.

I really want that for you.

Watch this video to see how I can help you for free.

With self confidence you can pretty much do anything you set your mind to. Belief in yourself will help you pick yourself back up after any knock back.  And if you’re kind and loving then you will have other people be kind and loving to you. 

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You’re each a Wonder Woman in your own way. 

You have a special power – a gift that’s unique to you. Try to find it.

Be true to who you are – that means be happy being you and you’ll gain the power and confidence you want.

That way you’ll be able to go for what you want in life and equality and women’s empowerment will be real.

Jaelithe

xxx

 

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The dreaded school report

How to handle what other people think

Hands up, I was a girly swot at school. I loved it. But, as a mum I can see how you as a teenager get stressed, or how you as a mum dread what’s going to be said.

My kids had their parents’ evening the other day and I reminded them that morning.

Their reactions were hilarious.

Watch this video to find out what they were.

So, what happened?

Well, each of them got glowing school reports, but it really doesn’t matter.

The important thing for you to take away is that what other people think about you is not an indication of how well you’re doing.

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Use the dreaded school report as feedback to see where you can improve.

Yes, pat yourself on the back if you’re doing well in a subject. But please don’t use this as a measurement of you as a person.

I really wish schools would teach you how to fail.

I’ve failed so many times in my life and the key to success is picking yourself up from that. Failure is not the end. It’s just an indication that something needs to be tweaked. That’s it.

It’s feedback.

You can only ever do your best in life.

And if you know in your heart you’ve done your best for you, then that’s good enough. 

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If you’re a parent reading this, then the message is the same for you.

Don’t use the school reports as an indicator of how well you’re doing as a parent.

If you feel like your child is ‘failing’ at something then don’t see that as a failure on your part. And please don’t see them as a failure. Again, failure is feedback.

My weakness.

I’m rubbish at geography. I really have no sense of direction and haven’t a clue where places are in relation to other places.

My choice.

I have a choice. I can buckle down to improve my geography skills to get better. Or, I can accept my weakness and focus on strengthening the subjects I’m much better at.

I chose forgiveness.

At school I buckled down and got the grades I needed to for geography, but as an adult I’m accepting my weakness. Time after time, I know I always find my way.

I can read maps and I’ve travelled to see loads of beautiful countries.  A good choice for me is to forgive myself for not being able to point to where they are on a map.

None of us are here to be perfect at every single thing.

Yes, you get the people who are good ‘all rounders’. But the beauty of life is that we each have our own unique gifts.

So please use the school report as an indicator to help you find yours.

Jaelithe

xxx

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What kids can teach you about happiness

Learn these key happiness tips from kids

One of my favourite sounds from my three kids is the sound of them laughing. It makes everything better in an instant. 

There are different stats out there as to how many times a day children laugh, but whatever the true fact, they laugh more than adults.

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Licensed through http://www.canstockphoto.com in accordance with the End User License Agreement (http://www.canstockphoto.com/legal.php)
(c) Can Stock Photo Inc. / monkeybusiness

That got me thinking – why? Yes, adults have jobs, bills to pay and responsibilities to live up to, but that doesn’t have to make life hard. Who decided that life has to be dull?

When did you stop laughing?

I laughed along with my kids and still do. Even though I’m a Happiness Coach, I don’t laugh as often as I’d like to. That’s something I’m working on. 

So, when I was writing my book ‘The Happy Woman: What You Can Learn from Kids, Dogs and Men’ I knew kids could teach us so much about being happy.

They’re born with it, but at some key point in their life they lose it. I’d love to know exactly when, so I can do something about it. But, with that said, the lessons we should really take on board as adults, is that we can be happy again.

That’s what I think happiness is all about.

Being happy as often as you can. When you’re not, you learn from it and pick yourself up again.

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The chapter in my book about kids has loads of lessons about happiness. That’s the FREE chapter I’m giving away too. Download it here if you like.

But I wanted to spread even more of that happiness now. 

So I created a short animation with my favourite tips.

I hope you like it and if you do, please share it with your friends.

Don’t forget to download your free chapter of  ‘The Happy Woman: What You Can Learn from Kids, Dogs and Men’ now.

Jaelithe

xxx

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What dogs can teach you about being happy

Dogs are happy – you can be too

I love dogs. They seem to breeze through life. And boy, can they make you happy.

We had a dog when I was a teenager. He was an ex police dog called Bouncer (nothing to do with us)!

He pretty much saw me through my ups and downs of being a teenager.

My furry friend

Every night after school I would take him for a long walk and chat to him about my day. It was as if he could understand my every word.

When I stroked and cuddled him, my cares disappeared. I forgot about the horrible looks I’d been given by so and so, or the dread I’d felt when I’d been asked a maths question in front of everyone.

Every time I looked into Bouncer’s eyes, it was like he saw right into my soul and he loved me for being me.

My inspiration

Bouncer was the inspiration for my book ‘The Happy Woman: What You Can Learn from Kids, Dogs and Men.’ I knew he was a happy dog. He seemed to live in the moment. I realised we needed to learn from him. 

I’m not a dog expert. But luckily, many dog experts from all over the world were happy to talk to me, when I told them what I was writing about.

They agreed with me – dogs are happy and we can definitely learn from them.

So, I’ve put together this short video with my three favourite tips.

I hope you enjoy it. If you do, please share it with your friends.

Don’t forget, you can download your free chapter of my book ‘The Happy Woman: What You Can Learn from Kids, Dogs and Men.’ 

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